Reading is Fundamental/User's Reads
In the Great Tradition of Paris is Burning, The Library Is Open! This is a page for the users of the RuPaul's Parody Show Wiki to read the queens of RDR in great fun. Kaiko's Reads Season 1 # To Akashia: "You're known as Season 1's Lip Sync Assassin but when all you have to your name is beating a klutz who kept tripping and someone who didn't lip sync, the only that can describe you is "underwhelming"". # To Bebe: "You may have a beautiful face but it doesn't excuse you from letting the rest of yourself go" # To Jade: "Your only claim to fame is that you were the first queen to do a split, yet nobody knows who you are" # To Nina: "Nina Flowers; Drag Race's first 'weird queen'. I mean a queen who's drag makes them look like a literal penis is something I would find weird." # To Ongina: "Ongina, your speech about having HIV was so heartwarming but all I thought when I saw that was 'Michelle Visage's long-lost relative'" # To Rebecca: "I'm sorry, who are you?" # To Shannel: "The best way to describe you is 'fourth place'" # To Tammie: "Until AS1, you were known as the queen who didn't lip sync but now you're known as that one queen on AS1, which I think is even worse" # To Victoria: "Oh Delta? I didn't know you were on Season 1?" All Stars 3 # To Aja: Aja, you're such a great rapper. Did your talent to spit fire come with those burn marks? # To Bebe Zahara Benet: Knock Knock? Who's there? Bebe. Bebe Who? Exactly. # To BenDelaCreme: BenDelaCreme, the worst lip syncer in Drag Race herstory after losing two lip syncs to a sack of potatoes. # To Chi Chi Devayne: Aww Chi Chi, I thought you weren't broke anymore. # To Kennedy Davenport: I see you've crystallized. Did your dad not like the session? *in reference to her entrance look* # To Milk: Milk, your ego has achieved something that I thought was impossible. It became bigger than Alyssa's backrolls. # To Morgan McMichaels: Whoregan McMicheals, Oops I'm sorry. That was uncalled for, you're not a whore. You're a slut, whores get paid. # To Shangela: The only queen I know who gets paid to simultaneously seizure and experience tourettes on stage. # To Thorgy Thor: Thorgy, when I started makeup, I thought I looked like low-rent Pennywise but after seeing you in drag, I stand corrected. # To Trixie Mattel: Trixie, when you find something funny, you're supposed to laugh. Season 10 # To Aquaria: Aquaria, beautiful? Maybe. Talented? Doubtful. Basic? Extremely. # To Asia: Asia O'Hara, you call yourself the chameleon queen so why don't you make like a chameleon and disappear. # To Blair: Blair St Clair, sorry my dear but we don't allow children on Drag Race. # To Eureka: Obese, I mean Eureka. What I think of when I see you is "KILL IT WITH FIRE....or kill it with diabetes? Honestly I don't care how you do it, just kill it". # To Miz Cracker: Miz Cracker, I get why you want to charm people with your personality, I mean, with a forehead the size of Jamaica, how else are people gonna like you? # To The Vixen: The Vixen, it took five people climb across your nose, two died of starvation. # To Yuhua: Yuhua Hamasaki, Yuhua gonna lose Pink's Reads Season 1 # To Rebecca: "Knock knock. 'Who's there?' Rebecca. 'Rebecca who?' Exactly." # To Akashia: "In one word: bottom. She's not a good bottom, though." # To Porkchop: "You expired, girl. No-one will miss you." Season 2 # To Tyra: "Wait, she was a winner?" Season 10 # To Asia: "I'd read you, but that promo wig already did." # To Kalorie: "Really?" # To Eureka: "I could re-break your knee if you want." All Stars 3 # To Bebe: "Your face may be beautiful, but how could your head carry 2crowns?" # To Milk: "Your personality this season can be described in 1 word: sour." # To Morgan: "I thought you were dead. Who brought you out of your grave for All Stars 3?" RuPink's Drag Race Season 1 # To Jessica Label: "2 labels can describe you: 'Lip-Sync Assassin' and 'Who?'" # To Blingee: "Haisha." Translation: "Total Loser." # To Carangia: "Courtney Act's more supermodel than you." RuPink's Drag Race Season 2 # To Maddelynn Hattie: "Maddelynn Hatter, when will you get on Boulet Brothers DRAGULA? Oh wait, she's Maddelynn HATTIE?" # To Marilyn Darling: "Marilyn, welcome back! Quick question: Can you level your pussy down?" RuPink's Drag Race Season 3 # To Miku Meow and Munlite: "Give it up, ladies!" # To Bitchita: "No, this IS NOT 'The Real Housewives', it's 'The FAKE Drag Queen of HELL and Headphones'!" # To Shotta Wine, Avril Castle, and Evangelista: "Why did I make you famous?" # To Lucifer Nightmare: "You don't scare me. Mission failed." RuPink's Drag Race Season 4 # To Spacica: "When did I put Alienna Planetes on the show?" # To Satin Doll: "Blair St. Clair of Rhode Island. Well, at least Blair tried her best!" # To Lady Dartreuse: "With her family's history, why should SHE get that crown?" RuPaul's Drag Race Fan Season 1 # To Emerald Princess: "Disney called. They want their everything back." # To La Divazetta: "I like your name. But everything else is horrible bullshit." # To Heavy Cream: "Remind me NOT to use you in my coffee. Or my shows. Or anything at all. # To Oujo-chan: "Is Mona Leisure your twin?" Oujo-chan: "No." Me: "Well, she should be, 'cause you're both Japanese and fucking ugly!" # To Blues Trisha: "I can't read without reading a winner! Wait, wait, she won? I thought it ended at the Charles Awards." RuPaul's Drag Race Fan Season 2 #To Sweetie Tsukino:' '"Kitsune, stop keeping secrets from me!" #To La Blonde:' '"The Golden Bae, how come you're shadier than usual? Oh, it's because YOU'RE HER MENTOR, BITCH!" #To Vanilla Gorilla:' '"Fat Shangela." ::Vanilla: '''"Halleloo." #To a cardboard cutout of Fruity Laloupe:' '"I'd read her, but her death already has." Falco's Reads DragRula Season 7 # To Maja: "You're the drag daughter of Aja and Pearl aka the two most forgettable queens in Drag Race herstory" # To Attention Whore: "You look exactly like your drag mother, ugly" # To Gigi O'Hara: "Phi Phi O'Hara, the shadiest bitch in herstory. Oh I'm sorry that's not Phi Phi?" # To Sugar Granny: "Not even makeup can disguise your age" # To Azazel: "Azazel you're so fishy" # To Demencia: "Deodorant bitch cuz you smell like fish" # To Jessie Christ: "Jessie Christ, you're the daughter of God? Oh, wait no you're not" # To Bonnie Zahara Benet: "Trying to carry on your mother's legacy hmm? You look like a clone of her, and just as basic as her" # To Khrystyana Yakutsk: "Katya, where's Trixie, oh wait? That is not Katya?" # To Octopussy: "Octopussy, you injured your leg and returned? C'mon Eureka" # To Alex Isa Bitch: "You're not a bitch, you're too sweet." # To Androgynina: "Nina Flowers, Nina Bo'nina Brown, Androgynina. Wow, where is the originality?" # To Kariana Grande: "You think you look like Ariana Grande? No, you look like Jocelyn Wildenstein" # To Jinx: "Jinx, are you a ripoff of Jinkx Monsoon?" # To Kid Flash: "You look like every other superhero queen, ugly" # To Morrigan: "You look like an uglier Octopussy" # To Mettaton: "Blair St. Clair mentored you? Is that why you looked so fucking slutty?" # To Pink X: "Red X, take off your mask, oh wait you're pink not red!" DragRula Season 9 # To Amadiva: "Amadiva, you're name is a read in yourself." # To Ariel Lavigne: "You're only place of popularity will be Japan cuz Avril Lavigne is irrelevant here." # To B Ella: "B Ella, you aren't the elephant queen. That is Darienne" # To Cheyenne Pepper: "Girl, your makeup is such a mess. No wonder Mayhem mentored you." # To Daughter Blood: "Your voice is exactly like Pink X, grating" # To Evah Destruction: "It took you so long to get on the show, it's because you're not a real monster" # To Hellvetika: "You're hot but you have no personality. # To Kandy Muse: "You only look like a plus sized Aja" # To Kyd Wykkyd: "How do I spell your name?" # To Lucina: "You look like you could pass as a biological woman, only when you're high and drunk" # To Madame Rouge: "You're very ugly and slutty" # To Megatronica: "Why is that thing on your face? Take it off, bitch!" # To Nega Beast Boy: "You're a carbon copy of Beast Boy, not even his drag son." # To Rose "Ravager" Wilson: "You look like a ripoff of Slade and Deadstriker" # To Sombra: "You're too fishy to even do drag" # To Sweetie Tsuniko: "You look almost exactly like Kitsune Miku" Kittenvelour15's Reads All Stars 3 # To Kennedy: "Kennedy, I don't know why you so mad that you didn't make it to the top 3 on Season 7. I mean sure Pearl was lazy but so is that eye girl." # To Morgan: "Morgan, what Tyra said was wrong. I mean if you were dead who would go home first?" # To Chi Chi: "Chi Chi, you know I love a queen who tells a story. The fact that you wore trash bags into the workroom again dosen't mean your poor, it means this outfit is like your drag skills, trash." # To Thorgy: "Thorgy Thor, the conspiracy theory queen. You know I have a theory for you, you're gonna loose." # To Bebe: "Bebe, Camaroon called, shut up!" # To Trixie and Shangela: "Trixie Mattel, you know you are such an inspiration I've never seen a queen with amazing makeup skills when using mashed potatoes as foundation. Like a good friend of mine Latrice says, Clumpy yet Chunky, kind of like Shangela's thighs." # To BenDeLaCreme: "And the biggest gag of al stars history...BenDeLa...has terrible handwriting." # To Aja: "Aja, the moon wants it's craters back." Season 10 #To Vixen: "Three words, Paper Mache Coulee." #To Vanessa: "Miss Vanjie, Miss Vanjie, Miss...Vaaaaanjie *walks backwards toword the door*." #To Eureka: "Out of all the queens the could have chose to come back, Mimi Imfurst." #To Kalorie: "Kalorie, you wore a money dress, but you look like you have everything but money." #To Mayhem: "Mayhem, you come from drag family with amazing talent and you know what you all have in common, none of you win." #To Miz and Aquaria: "She's thin, she's white, and she's salty, Aquaria." #To Asia: "Asia I can see you've taken great inspiration form your hair in your promo...just like Donald Trump you look like you've got a small animal on your head." #To Blair: "Broadway called, some dreams don't come true, your gonna loose." #To Kameron: "The trade of the season, RuPaul should have traded you out for someone better." LYC’s Reads Season 1 * BeBe: Yes, your face is beautiful. When compared to Michelle Visage’s mug. * Nina: Nina Flowers. Did anyone tell you that you shouldn’t wear the same outfit on the runway every week? * Rebecca Glasscock: Excuse me, who? * Shannel: Shannel, I found your long lost brother, Narcissus! * Ongina: Ongina, stop getting Jade to help you tuck. * Jade: Jade Jolie? No? Jade Jolie isn’t the only Jade? * Akashia: Akashia, you broke the mothertucking dawn, and my eyeballs! * Tammie: Tammie Brown, the dead body you found was just your makeup skills. * Porkchop: Porkchop, I just want you to know that I don’t think you’re a loser! I know you’re a loser! Season 2 * Nicole Paige Brooks: Girl, it’s time to quit Drag when your biggest claim to fame is how you say your name. That rhymed! * Mystique: According to RPDR wiki, you’re from Bedford—oh, you aren’t a liar. But Dax still gives better X-Men realness than you do. * Sonique: Sonique the Hedgehog. That is all I have to say. * Morgan: We get it. You’re Scottish and listen to Megadeth non-stop for a month. * Sahara: Out of respect for the dead, I will not read you. The fact that the first episode of AS1 was dedicated to you is bad enough. Not cuz it’s dedicated to you but because it’s AS1. * Jessica Wild: You May lub that drink, but I do not lub you. * Pandora: I thought the box itself wasn’t bad, but it seems you’re proven me wrong. * Tatianna: You won Snatch Game. Then got sent home because of it. But you’re six ft. in heels so I’ll leave it that. Don’t hurt me! * Jujubee: You’re pretty much just the Michelle Visage to Raven’s RuPaul. * Raven: Raven, your existence is summed up in two words: "SECOND PLACE". * Tyra: Wait, someone actually won season two? I thought it just ended abruptly. Kari's Reads Season 5 * Jinkx Monsoon: Ah, Jinkx. How could someone hate you? I know! You look like a damn crooked version of Cleopatra on crack. * Alaska 5000: Your wigs are almost as square as your padding. * Roxxxy Andrews: Thick and juicy? Are you describing yourself or a hamburger? * Detox: I know why your name is Detox! You're a piece of shit that everyone wants to get out of their system. * Serena ChaCha: The youngest queens always get the backlash. But honey, with your frickin' tacky gypsy psychic-on-the-side-of-a-country-road wardrobe, you deserved it. Season 6 * Kelly Mantle: Why did those flowers look like raw bacon strips straight off the damn pig? Chechutielve's Reads RuPaul's Drag Race Season F1 Oujo-chan *'to La Divazzetta: '"Didi, a word that could describe you is: Buzu, which means UGLY BITCH." *'to Heavy Cream: '"Heavy-chan. I thought women weren't allowed in sumo until I saw you, you fat bitch." *'to Emerald Princess: '"Emerald Princess, the dark princess of copyright, if I edited this show then I'd censor the hell outta you." Heavy Cream (Mini-Challenge Winner) *'to Vanilla Gorilla: '"Vani, you're pretty much an overcooked version of me." *'to Oujo-chan: '"Oujo-chan, how's it going after the earthquake that happened 6 years ago?" *'to Blues Trisha: '"YO LISTEN UP HERE'S A STORY ABOUT A ROTTED BITCH THAT FROCKS IN A BLUE GOWN" Blues Trisha *'to Oujo-chan: '"Ching chong, bitch." ::'Oujo: '"BAKA." *'to Mama Afro: '"Mama Afro, you're the Diana Ross of the competition. Speaking of whom, I'm gonna recommend you an impersonator: Milan." Vanilla Gorilla *'to Oujo-chan: '"Mona Leisure." *'to Heavy Cream: '"Miss Undercooked Me, you think you can dethrone me this season? AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN." *'to Blues Trisha: '"Oh hey there, Azul. How ya doin?" Emerald Princess *'to La Divazzetta: '"La Divazzetta! You're like a low-budget Elena of Avalor." *'to Heavy Cream: '"Heavy Cream. Petey Pete called, he wants his bitch back." *'''to Blues Trisha: "Miss Blue, you're like bees: What to us is yellow, YOU SEE IT IN BLUE." La Divazzetta *'to Emerald Princess: '"You're totally original! Said no-one ever." *'to Mama Afro: '"Milan, where have you been?" *'to Oujo-chan: '"Mona Leisure? Is that you?" Mama Afro *'to Emerald Princess (and also superhero queens): '"Soul Sister Emmy, honey. You're like the superhero-based queens people make on the internet: Cheap and unoriginal." *'to Vanilla Gorilla: '"Ooh, Mama Bear is looking so different these days..." *'to La Divazzetta: '"My dear fake diva: For a comedy queen, you aren't really funny. Now your runway? THAT'S A JOKE." Category:Challenges